Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
