Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
