He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize