oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
