what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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