I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
