i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
