So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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