the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize