ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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