I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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