Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Randomize
