Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
