Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
