I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
