You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
