ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my sisters under your porch take her home
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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