you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
