you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Cover your peen. We're going out.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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