I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
