I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
