I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize