he shaved USA in his pubs
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
