i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
