White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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