At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
