even my farts smell like vagina
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
