he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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