Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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