last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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