the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
