He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
