my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
