He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
