I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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