I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize