Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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