Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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