Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
