What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
