The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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