rhymes with "ouble enetration"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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