Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
