we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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