dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
