Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
