from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
