TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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