i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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