My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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