DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize