i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
