I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
