And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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