i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
