Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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