I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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