I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
