I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
