Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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