party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cover your peen. We're going out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
