using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
