JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
