Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize