ugly people sure do ruin things
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So squirting runs in the family.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
