is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
