im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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