I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
