yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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