There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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