Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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