My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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