He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
