id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
