I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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