I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
