College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
