she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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