Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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