How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
