i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize