My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
