Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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