so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
