well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i think my cat just said my name.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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